Loaning out your emotional wellness: How to Retire Your Wellness Loan Officer

Did you know whether you are a parent, teacher, husband, wife or business owner you are likely to have a wellness loan officer? We all have them, that person who wants to charge us interest on our feelings, dreams and wellness, taking more then we borrowed. You know when you did a good job, but your internal emotional loan officer tells you “it wasn’t that good or just wait you will fail” so you deposit $1.00 of wellness, but pay the loan officer $1.50 leaving you overdrawn and confused.  So who are these emotional loan officers and what do we do about them?

The first and often the one with the highest wellness APR is the person in the mirror. That’s right we are our own emotional loan officers telling ourselves that our story isn’t worth telling business-money-pink-coinsor we aren’t smart enough to achieve our dreams, strong enough to stand up, or any other story that you blindly believe. Other times your emotional note is held by a 3rd party financier friends, family, work, stress, and illness. Maybe they have a variable wellness APR or a balloon payment on your note. So you struggle to keep up with your payments. Using one loan to pay the other all the more getting deeper into wellness debt. Before you know it you have stopped sleeping, exercising and started doubting your purpose. Don’t look now but you are in wellness debt. So how can you reduce your wellness interest rate, pay off your emotional debt quicker and begin to deposit into your wellness bank account. With momentum, grit, and a power to know that you are worthy because you have worth.

3rd Party Financiers

Review the terms of the agreement. Collaborative healthy relationships shouldn’t come with fine print. Believe in good intent, so when your 3rd party financier comes in and slams you, look at their intent. I know it is a pain in the tail, but just stop and think for a moment was their intent to harm, degrade, damage etc. Most of the time people are not out there to cause carnage on your life. If their intent is to cause carnage you have to cancel that wellness note as soon as you can. Life is too short to have financiers who want to see you in pain. I have zero time and patience for that. Limit your interactions as much as you can and began to replace with people who deposit into your account.  THIS IS NOT THE SAME AS PEOPLE WHO OFFER COMPASSIONATE and CONSTRUCTIVE FEEDBACK. You don’t want yes people; you want believe people. People who believe in you and your journey. If someone is trying to help you, but you ONLY want them to tell you the awesome things that is not a collaborative relationship in my opinion. Having a person who only tells you the awesome is like when you get an offer for 0% interest if you pay the balance off in a year. The problem is those terms are only great if you pay note off in a year or in this case until that person gives an opinion that you don’t like. When this happens you will end up paying for the lack of authenticity with a huge interest bill to your wellness bank account. Look for genuine people who treat you with respect.

So what if you are the person who is holding your wellness note? Well here are somethings that might help you renegotiate your wellness note with yourself.

  1. Work on your mindfulness – In today’s fast paced society we are hardly paying attention to our current state and feelings. Rather we numb our emotions and spin ourselves up to focusing on: what can’t, hasn’t, or might happen allowing our emotional interest rate to double. You see when we do that we are essentially skipping payments and inviting late fees and over the limit charges. When you start to get spun up; stop and try to pull yourself back to the current moment and situation. This is not easy to do even for the most practiced, but little by little the more you can remain present the less interest you will pay worrying about what did, hasn’t or might happen. THIS IS NOT TO SAY you shouldn’t plan for your future or upcoming events or learn from past experiences, that is not logical. I just have learned for me that if I can focus in on the present and what can be done right now it brings a more peaceful approach to my day. *Quick tip peacefulness can be present in the company of chaos. Lastly, this process should help you become aware of your physical, emotional, and spiritual connection points allowing you to understand how to add to your wellness bank account.  
  2. Become a fraud investigator – You would want to know if someone was stealing your money right? So why won’t you investigate your missing wellness currency? Ask yourself some tough questions to see if you are stealing joy from your wellness account. Some clues that you are being ripped off.

    1. Negative self-talk – Example: I can’t do anything right, I am not strong enough, smart enough etc.
    2. Fear – Example: People won’t like my ideas, If I tell my partner my big dreams they might laugh.

You will have to work and train your brain to spot imposter/fraudulent statements or when your 3rd party financier is screwing you on interest rates. These are just a few things that could help you retire your wellness loan officer.

Lastly, remember that you are worthy because you have worth.

The views and opinions on this site are not to be substitutions for medical, financial or other professional advice. You should always seek out professional advice specific to your situation.

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